1:48am
September 27, 2008
An empty space. A gap. A hole. A missing piece.
No matter what I call it, it doesn’t change the fact that it is there. Or should I say something is not in there. It makes me think about what exactly did I lose…is it a person? a thing? a feeling?
I try to keep myself busy with other things and occupy every corner of my mind with anything…anything but you. So now, I really don’t know if I’ve moved on or I’m just in a pre-occupied state. Friends, school, DVD marathons, and endless Facebook games---I’m alright. I just can’t explain why I sometimes find myself listening to songs of our past. One single song would start a long playlist of memories in my heart. That ignored feeling of emptiness just sneaks into my life like a ghost of past and it’s so hard to get rid of it. I have to go to another long process of struggling to push that ghost away, only to realize I couldn’t touch it to make it move.
Sleepless nights. Countless books. Endless hours of internet. Hundreds of SMS sent. Continuous hang-outs. I go back to my ritual of keeping myself preoccupied to make it go away.
I make myself busy. A song. Stream of memories. That same old empty space. Loneliness. The cycle goes on and on.
What do I do with it? Nothing. It has become an addictive habit.
I know soon I would drown deeper into it and it would be the end of me.
1 comment:
..is it really "something" or "someone"?...that feeling of emptiness that you have, that hole, that gap will all be gone once something or someone fills that place...but the question is are you ready to let someone in and stay in that space?...stay so that it won't be empty anymore....
..miss you girl....
Post a Comment