welcome back my-old-less-caring-self

I tried to be a caring and showy friend but I guess timing was not on my side. I wanted to be there for someone but I got rejected. So now, I’ve decided to welcome back my-old-uncaring-self or maybe just my-old-less-caring-self because I don’t want to be vulnerable anymore.

I used to be a safe person, I don’t take risks before and so I save myself from rejection. I used to be a very passive person, I always wait for them to come to me, instead of reaching out---it worked out just fine.

It worked perfectly for my ego, at least back then, I can be charged with negligence and still not care about it because that’s just me, I’m a person who always wait for the other end to meet me where I stand. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t consider myself a VIP. I’m just the laid-back-happy-go-lucky-girl who doesn’t want to leave her comfort zone especially when it comes to relationships and effort.

Generally, I’m a risk-taker but not with relationships (not anymore). I don’t like not being appreciated for my efforts because when I do give, I pour it all out.

RISK-TAKER + FEAR OF REJECTION or FAILURE = RELATIONSHIP

---I know it doesn’t add up, but that’s me…an equation with an error.

I’ll always be misunderstood especially by people not willing to spend a moment of their precious time to figure me out. I don’t have a lot of people around me who truly get me, but I’m really grateful for those few real friends for they saw that there’s more than the “Hazel” that meets the eye,

…and I know they wouldn’t mind having my-old-less-caring-self around.